Indian jokes, Santa Banta jokes, Facebook jokes, Doctor patient jokes, PJ's, Teacher student jokes, Jokes on Corruption, Couples joke, Husband wife jokes, Married couples jokes, Jokes on YOGA, Boyfriend and Girlfriend jokes, Teenager Jokes.

1. A Boy with his father went to Doctor with infection on his face, After Checking, (Doctor Said : Ask your girl friend to change the brand of the lipstick - as you are allergic to the brand LAKME).
   Doctor said: "Girlfriend ko bolo Lipstick ka brand badle, Tumhe Lakme se Alergy hai".
   .
2. An American woman updated her Facebook status: "We fell in love.
   Got engaged .....,  ....... had a lovely time, .......got married, ..... got divorced...
   Oh my God What a busy weekend it was!
   .
   
3. Nurse to patient with bleeding head: Your name?
   Patient: Banta Singh  .....................        Nurse: Age?
   Patient: 25 years         .....................        Nurse: Married?
   Patient: no no, it was a car accident !!
   .
4. Santa (to her newly married wife) apni Dulhan se: Yeh meri pahli suhaagraat hai darling, (as this is my first married night /  honeymoon night)
   (if there is some mistake ... you please forgive me ... considering me as your younger brother !!!!!)Agar koi galti yaa kami rah jaaye, to mujhe chhota bhai samajh kar maaf dena...!!
    
5. Man : to his wife :  raat ko mobile charging me mat rakho, blast ho jayega
   (Man : to his wife : don't try to charge the mobile in the night - as it may blast due to over charging)Wife: Dear - aap tension mat lijiye maine battery nikal di he na....;)
   Wife : to her husband : don't worry dear - that's why i have pick the battery out !!
    
6. Height of Shock & Bad Luck:  A newly married man traveling with his wife dialled a number of a girl written in the Train's Toilet & his wife picked up the phone.
    
7. Girl apne boyfriend se "Main Maa Banne Wali hun!"
   Girl to Boyfriend : "I am going to be mother"
   BOY: Naheeeeeeeeeeeeeen (Ohhhh  Noooooooooo !!!!)
   GIRL: Listen ..... "as your father proposed me ... that'w why"
   Abe sun toh le Tere Baap ne Mujhe Propose kiya hai, Mai TERI Maa Banne Wali Hun...
    
8. Height of Insult....          BOY messages her Girlfriend "Darling I can't live without you...
   Will you Marry me???" ...... . . . . ....   Reply comes.. ......"Who's this???
   I lost my contacts"
    
9. God to man: What is your wish ? ....... Man: Plz mujhe unmarried kar do. (I want to be un-married).
   God Replied : son i am asking you to make a wish.... i did not asking you for Heaven.
   God: Beta maine mannat mangne ko kaha tha jannat nahi ........
   .
   
10. Nurse to Doctor : I have checked the BP of this patient 3 - 4 times - every time it is showing very High ???? !!!!
    Doctor Replied : Next time try it -- after closing Top Two Buttons of your shirt ;)
    Nurse: Doctor, bed number 6 wale patient ka BP 3 - 4 baar check kiya hai, bahut high hai.
    Doctor: Ek baar phir se check karo aur apne upar ke 2 button band kar lena.....
     
11. New Teacher : Students tell me your names & hobbies?
    Boys:
                    I'm Mike, my hobby is watching bubble in bath tub.
                    I'm Eddy, my hobby is watching bubble in bath tub.
                    I'm Karl, my hobby is watching bubble in bath tub.....
    Teacher: OMG .....  all boys have same hobbies!!!
    Now girls....
                    Girl 1 : hi my name is Bubble.... My hobby is .......
                    Girl 2 : hi my name is Bubble.... My hobby is .......
                    Girl 3 : hi my name is Bubble.... My hobby is .......
     
12. Baap of PJ's:- 2 boys are talking'- 
    1st boy: Tu mast swimming karta hai re! kaha pe sikha???
    2nd boy: "PANI MEIN"
    
    
13. Santa ne God se pucha: Mujhe Raat Ko Neend Kyoun Nahi Aati?.
    
    
14. God Ne Kaha: Pyar Hone ki Acting Mat Kar ..... Dopahar Mein Tu Khoob Sota hai.....
     
15. Kisi ne ANNA HAJARE se pucha ....     "kafan me jeb kyoun nahi hoti?" ....
    'ANNA': "Beta kyounki Maut kabhi Rishwat nahi leti."
    STOP CORRUPTION !! ----
     
16. Jailer to KASAB: Why are you so happy??? ......
    Kasab: I'm not Indian, I Hate India, I killed Indians, but I'm sure, I'm safe in India...
     
17. Journalist to ANNA HAZARE: Why are you so sad??
     Anna: I'm Indian, I love my India & Indians,     but I'm not sure when I'll be killed?.
    This is INDIA..!
     
18. 1 ENGINEER, 1 BBA Student or 1 Sardar

Ship mein Ja Rahe They, 1 JINN aa gaya or Bola:
Samandar me koi cheez Phenko

Agar maine Dhoond Li to mai Tumhe Mar Dunga
Or na Dhoond paya to mai Tumhara Ghulam

Engineer ne Needle Phenki JINN ne Dhoond li or usey mar diya

BBA Student ne Memory Card Phenka

JINN ne Dhoond Liya or Usey bi Mar Diya

Sardar ne Disprin Phenki Wo Pani me Ghul Gayi

Sardar Bola: Chal Beta Ghar Chal Bahut Kaam Pada hai
JINN Shocked &
"SARDAR" ROCKED


Advice for Men:Jab bhi koi decision lena ho to pehle
Apne dil ki suno
Phir
Dimaag ki suno
Or finally
Majboor hoke wahi karo Jo tumhari "Girlfriend" chahti hai....


If boy propose a girl her 5 answers
   -No way
   -Na
   -We are friend
   -I love someone
   -I have family problems
    If girl propose a boy
   -Yes
   -Yes
   -Yes
   -Yes
   -Yes
Kamino ka koi standard hi nahi...


Wo pyar ke rishte ab "kaise kaise" ho gaye
Kabhi hum apke dost the ab "aise vaise" ho gaye
Agar ab bhi apne SMS na kiya to samjenge
"HUM" se pyare "PAISE" ho gaye...!!


Loyalty Test:
Wife buys a Dozen underwear of same Colour for husband.
Husband: Why same Colour? People will think I never change
Underwear!
Wife: Which people?
Total Silence!..
   
Height of disturbing !!
Boy: Pen hai?
Girl: Nahi hai.
Thodi der baad.
Boy: Pen hai?
Girl: Nahi hai bola na....
Thodi der baad..
Boy: Pen hai Pen? Pen?
Girl: Ek baar bola na ki nahi hai, ab pucha to hathode se sarr phod
dungi tumhara....
Boy: Hathoda hai?
Girl: Nahi hai.
Boy: To phir Pen hai Pen??

What is Swarg?
American Salary
German Car
Chinese Food &
Indian Wife


What is Nark?
American Wife
German Food
Chinese Car &
Indian Salary.....


Two questions asked to Indian women in Survey-
Q- Do you believe in sleeping with a total stranger?
A- Yuck! Never
Q- Do you believe in arranged marriages?
A- Yes, of course!

Kid: Teacher Can I go to the Toilet??
Tchr: [Correcting] May I go to the Toilet??
Kid: Oye!!
Chup-chap bethi reh, chalu aurat pehle mai jaunga....!!


YOGA Effect:
A boy was having the habit of smoking cigaretts.
His parents sent him to Yoga classes for treatment.
Guess What...

Now he can smoke with his legs also.
Mother: Shadi ke liye konsi date rakhe.
Girl: Sharmate hue 21 DEC
Mother: Q
Girl: Sharmate hue,
Suna hai saal ki sabse lambi raat 22 DEC ko hoti hai.


FEMALES' CRITERIA FOR Life Partner:


Expect their MEN To look like Mr. Universe & Work like RAMU KAKA.:






2 Pandito me ladai ho rahi thi bahut der ho gai to Tisre Pandit ne

Pucha kya hua?
To 1 Pandit bola jab me "Lehsun Pyaz" nahi khata to Is sale ne Murge me dala kyoun.

Which body part expands 5 times its normal size?
Girl: I can't answer this question. I feel embrsd.

Teacher asked the same question to a boy..
 

Boy: Pupil of human eye..
Teacher: Correct...
   
Then he turned to the girl & said:


Listen girl, not only is your thinking wrong but also your expectations are too high.






Boy & Girl alone in a Car...
Girl: Aaj mai tumhe wo jagah dikhaungi jaha se mera "Doodh" aata hai.!!


Boy gets excited...


Girl: wo dekho KRISHNA DAIRY.....






Girls mentality
"I don't hate you but I can't love you" means


"Tu itna bhi mast nahi k shaadi karlu par itna bura bhi nahi k kharcha karaye bina jane dun".






AAJ KA VICHAR
Breakfast is a big pain when wife orders the Cook "Sahab ke ANDE ubaal dena"


And the cook asks "Or memsaab apka DHOODH garam karu?"






Conversation with "FRIEND": 

Q. Girlfriend hai?
A. Nahi
   -Gay sala


A. Hai Girlfriend
    -Tharki sala


Q. Kal school aaega?
A. Haan
    -Padhaku ki aulaad


A. Nahi
    -Kamina kabhi to pad...